How To Talk To A Mentor Without Feeling Nervous
Do you feel like you’re running blind? Like you don’t have anybody to talk to in your business? In this video, I want to share with you how to effectively communicate with your advisors and mentors.
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After failing twice in business I decided I needed help from a mentor.
The first person I identified was named Larry and he lived 1500 miles away.
After sitting on it for weeks, I finally hit send on the email asking him to meet.
Within 30 minutes he replied and agreed with a recommendation for a spot.
I lied about being in his city in a few weeks assuming that if he agreed that I could buy a flight…
… so that’s what I did.
It was on a Monday at 6:30pm and he was late.
We met in an old seafood restaurant off the highway and I was nervous.
What if he didn’t show up?
What if I say something stupid?
What if he sends someone else in his spot?
Eventually Larry showed up.
What happened over the next 2 hours was embarrassing.
Because I was nervous, I talked for most of the conversation.
Every question I had prepped for him was forgotten.
At the end of the meal I realized I didn’t connect with him at all.
As we got up to leave, I pulled the lame “I need to use the bathroom” trick.
At the very least, I’d spare myself the embarrassment of having him see me crawl into my rented Ford Escort with my tail between my legs.
From that point forward, I realized I need to change my approach.
Since then I’ve reached out and connected with 100’s of advisors, dozen of incredible mentors and have made it one of my superpowers to add value to complete strangers in exchange for words of wisdom.
That’s what I’m going to teach you in this week’s video.
The exact steps I teach my clients when they’re building out their professional network to help them scale their businesses.
Recently I was helping a friend who was nervous for her first call with an incredible potential mentor.
We got on a call and I walked her through these steps to plan her conversation.
1. Start with your origin or back story (max 5 mins)
2. Share challenges + numbers (be transparent)
3. Be prepared w/ 3-5 questions (max 30 mins)
4. Offer 1-3 solution per challenge
5. Ask for feedback on the solution
Using this format she nailed the meeting and had the potential mentor offer to reconnect in the future if she had other issues.
Mission accomplished!
That’s what I want for you.
If you’re stuck, be sure to leave a comment with any questions related to mentorships.
Let me be the first person to support you on this journey.
I’m here for you!
Dan “ask for advice get anything” Martell
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ABOUT DAN MARTELL
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“You can only keep what you give away.” That’s the mantra that’s shaped Dan Martell from a struggling 20-something business owner in the Canadian Maritimes (which is waaay out east) to a successful startup founder who’s raised more than $3 million in venture funding and exited not one… not two… but three tech businesses: Clarity.fm, Spheric and Flowtown.
You can only keep what you give away. That philosophy has led Dan to invest in 33+ early stage startups such as Udemy, Intercom, Unbounce and Foodspotting. It’s also helped him shape the future of Hootsuite as an advisor to the social media tour de force.
An activator, a tech geek, an adrenaline junkie and, yes, a romantic (ask his wife Renee), Dan has recently turned his attention to teaching startups a fundamental, little-discussed lesson that directly impacts their growth: how to scale. You’ll find not only incredible insights in every moment of every talk Dan gives – but also highly actionable takeaways that will propel your business forward. Because Dan gives freely of all that he knows. After all, you can only keep what you give away.
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Thanks for the video Dan. Your work urges me to also start giving virtual mentorship back to my community based on what I’ve learned in my career so far.
The point which resonates with me the most is that of having your own solutions prepared in hand before approaching a mentor. Even in my little experience, I find it irritating whenever someone approaches me for some advice on the job and there is no evidence that they’ve applied themselves to figuring things out on their own.
I am going to have to watch this video more than once. Coming from a chinese culture, this is extremely valuable. Thanks Dan!!!
Eric Chan ?
Hey Dan, Thank you very much for all the value you share. You are the best!
Misha Espinoza thx Misha, really appreciate the comment.
DM
WOW! I’m so glad I signed up for your newsletter. The Merv talk you sent me was AMAZING.
Jamie Seamans he’s a special man!
Thanks for tips!! Being accountable to another human is a bigggg deal 🙂 cheers!
Great!! And which mentor is that? I’m super curious. Cheers!
Jake Voorhees its huge! I’ve got a meeting Friday with a potential new mentor / following this exact process.
My mentor was Archie Green, he hired me to replace his wife as his bookkeeper, and then backed me as I established my Computer Accounting Business in 1969. Thanks Archie, may you rest in peace.
Very useful info !! I landed a mentor by a single cold email unexpectedly and bam needed to know what to ask and how the conversation should flow !! You cleared it up ! Thanks
Captain Kenny B so glad to hear!
Hey Dan… What if you feel the need to help C players become an A player… I think I love helping others be their best version and this has made it a hard for me to work with A players even though I try always to be an A player having initiative and giving all I can, being prepare.
Sounds like you have the right mindset ?
IT’S A REAL WALL?! holy molly.
mmatin08 sure is! 😉
DM
Thanks for the insight, Dan!
The first time I reached out to a mentor I flew 1500 miles away and blew my shot within 30 minutes. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Here’s what I did wrong.
This is so good!
Dan Martell meeting my mentor tomorrow. It’s someone who has made it in the field that I’m in, music school. Really excited, this is the first time I do this.
Thx Albert!
DM
You are a life savior
Excellent Video !
Great info thx
very helpful channels.
Thank You Merry Christmas ?? Happy New Year Happy Friday everyone
Same to you! Happy Holidays
? awesome
Hi Dan, what do you do after you’ve reached out to your mentor, asked him a question, followed up and done that cycle a couple of times? How would you approach moving the relationship into something like a call without being pushy?
Move on.
Reach out to others.
Don’t be pushy.
You should have a list of potential mentors… abundance.
Keep looking.
DM
To be honest.. when I first saw your video, the first thing that stood out was your wall and thought it was a green screen too or something like that.. haha
I got that a lot 🙂 … but no, it’s real.
DM